Category: Uncategorized

dratthepopulation:

mathed-potatoes:

Yesterday I went to dinner to catch up with my buddy from the math department, and he told me this story about how he ran the city marathon in 2 hours, 59 minutes. That’s an amazing time. He was 19th out of thousands. 

He was doing pretty well for the first half, but then his ankle started to hurt. He slowed down for a bit, but then this girl he passed before passed him, and he started overthinking whether or not it was awkward to pass the same person multiple times, and, like, what if they small-talked about it? He decided it was better to pass her and stay ahead, so he picked up the pace. A few miles later, he fell in with two dude-bros who started talking to him. Not pleased to find himself in the company of dude-bros, he pulled ahead once again. This continued for a while; every time he got closed to a group of other marathoners, his social anxiety kicked in and he ran faster because he felt nervous being near people. 

TL;DR A mathematician ran an record marathon to avoid making small-talk with randos. He introverted his way into qualifying for the Boston marathon. 

“It’s lonely at the top–”
“GOOD.”

gyromitra-esculenta:

wizardscience:

yall ever read a fact that just fucks up your whole world? let me tell you about mine. fact: you can very easily slip a lightbulb in your mouth, but it is impossible to remove it without breaking either the lightbulb or your jaw. this has ruined my life. i can not fucking see an old style lightbuble without thinking about how i could shove that baby right in my maw easy as pie. the inclination to do so is fucking insatiable. i feel like rapunzel’s mom and the rampion garden. a quest i know will result in terrible fate but my mind wants to do it so badly just to play out the awful scenario that would undoubtedly unfold before me. this is the true symbol of temptation. a lightbulb.

Okay. Story time. This happened around 15-20 years ago in my city.

Two tech uni students (roommates) were bored outta their minds in their dormitory and they got a bright idea for one of them to put a lightbulb in his mouth.

Them being tech students, they figured pretty quickly a medical intervention was needed to get it out, so the one without glass deathtrap in his mouth calls the cab – and off they ride to the ER.

ER being ER, first they have to wait a bit, and the process of getting the lightbulb out takes some time regardless. Chided properly,and called morons by the staff, they make their way out of the doctor’s office.

And as they pass through the ER whom do they see? Their cab driver from earlier, with a GODDAMN LIGHTBULB IN HIS MOUTH.

Welp.

greygryffindor:

the-anchorless-moon:

Why did nobody in Fullmetal Alchemist carry around some fucking backup transmutation circles. Like Riza is there with a box full of fresh gloves for Roy when he gets soaked but you’d think after the first time he got rendered useless in a fight by some dude with a water bottle he’d start carrying around a spare set in a waxed bag or something but NOOOOO. And Ed’s even fucking worse like his arm gets destroyed how many times???? AND HE ACTS SURPRISED EVERY TIME. OH NO MY ARM. NOW I CAN’T ALCHEMY. Shit, boy, draw some transmutation circles ahead of time and keep em in your coat, this isn’t hard. “Oh no, you’ve destroyed my arm again, whatever shall I SIKE” Ed says, before throwing a rock with ‘explode’ written on it at his attacker and making good his escape. Everyone’s always carving shit into their skin or drawing it in their own blood, HOW BOUT INSTEAD YOU CARRY A PIECE OF FUCKING CHALK. Alchemists are useless

Riza ghostwrote this