One time, Gryffindor reached exactly 69 house points, and for two whole weeks they managed not to gain or lose any by being as boring as possible. It was finally broken when Hermione was awarded 10 points for some good Charms homework, and Ron was subtracted 20 for yelling “FUCKS SAKE HERMIONE” in response
it happened, only it wasn’t mentioned because it wasn’t relevant to Harry’s story
These are so painful sometimes. Like after the prequels came out and then The Clone Wars series, we all wanted a world in which somebody, anybody, stopped and said “you know, since Anakin wasn’t raised by the Jedi from birth, maybe we should take a different approach here”.
But that’s the whole point of the prequels – that the Jedi Order had become stale and stuck in their ways and needed to be burnt to the ground to be reborn.
God, I want Mamma Mia to become the Fast and Furious franchise of musicals. They just keep making them for no reason, and the more they make the more you don’t even care that there isn’t a plot.
You think we care about a plot? The first movie could have been solved in 2 seconds with a DNA test, but instead they decide to sing about how this girl doesn’t know which of these 3 men is her dad for 2 hours and in the end THEY STILL DON’T HAVE AN ANSWER. AND NO ONE CARES.
The plot is ABBA karaoke, and it brings me joy. That’s all you need to know.
Every Adult In “Harry Potter” Let Us Down At Some Point And That’s Important a 900 page dissertation by me
And that includes Joanne Kathleen Rowling a tear stained afterword by me
Hagrid Is The Exception a rebuttal by me
The Time Hagrid Told Voldemort How to Take Out Something Protecting an Object that Grants Immortality When He Was Drunk and Other Well-Meaning Fuck Ups a lengthy chapter
odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”
Oðinn spake:
Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count’nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.
