I started Hebrew, which is why I’ve been dead on this blog, but I don’t think I can ever properly convey to you guys the sheer cultural whiplash of spending years learning Japanese from Japanese teachers and then trying to learn Hebrew from an Israeli
Japanese: you walk into class already apologizing for being alive Hebrew: you walk into class, the teacher insults you and you are expected to insult her back
Japanese: conjugates every single verb based on degree of intended politeness, nevermind keigo and honorifics Hebrew: Someone asked my teacher how to say “excuse me” and she laughed for several seconds before saying we shouldn’t worry about remembering that since we’ll never need to say it
Japanese: if you get one stroke wrong the entire kanji is incomprehensible Hebrew: cursive? script? fuck it do whatever you want, you don’t even have to write the vowels out unless you feel like it
Japanese: the closest thing there is to ‘bastard’ is an excessively direct ‘you’ pronoun Hebrew: ‘bitch’ translates directly
I need a comedy where a Japanese teacher and a Hebrew teacher have to go on an adventure together and also there is at least one (1) dragon
in hebrew the word for “Excuse me” is the same as the word for “i’m sorry” and people use it as a way to get attention bc nobody ever uses it so it makes people look at you in startlement
What parts of Canada are Wade Wilson and Logan actually from tho? This is an important part of Thier relationship that’s really overlooked.
Like, Thier canadianess in general is overlooked, but if Logan is supposed to be from NWT or something and Wade is from, IDK, Vancouver, there needs to be an inter-canadian smackdown.
Responses from The Canadians so far:
Logan: Multiple canon sources and Actual Canadians agree he’s from somewhere in northern Alberta, (Fox Lake and Cold Lake have both been cited)
Wade: True to form, there are multiple conflicting canons about which part of Canada Deapool is from, but all the Canadians agree that in order to get Like That ™, Wade Wilson is 100% definitely for certain from Winnepeg.
yknow the more jk rowlings world falls apart in america (race relations, international history, population, etc) the more i like to think that america just straight up doesnt have the statute of secrecy. european countries are falling over themselves hiding magic but come to georgia and theres a drunk redneck wizard wingardium leviosa-ing the shit out of a tractor to the delight of his drunk redneck muggle buddies in a walmart parking lot.
wizard on muggle violence is prevented by virtue of there being like a 50/50 chance that muggle is packing heat. muggle on wizard violence is prevented by knowing that wizard can give you boils spelling LIL BITCH on your forehead if you try to start something.
america is the weird redheaded stepchild of the magic world.
im not gonna stop reblogging this until this is the next Hot Fanon
english muggles come back to england and suspicious wizards meet them at the airport.
‘did you witness any strange or inexplicable acts while you were in america?’ they demand.
the english muggles just laugh in their dumb fucking faces. mate, it’s america.
what’s the difference between a werewolf and an animagus?
english wizard: *two hour lecture on legal history*
american wizard: six beers
@jumpingjacktrash congrats ive read hundreds of comments on this dumpster fire of a headcanon and yours is the best
thank you my patronus is a monster truck
I have reblogged this I don’t even fucking know how many times but I still completely lose it every time I see the words “My Patronus is a monster truck” because that is the most AMERICAN thing I’ve ever seen in 29 years of being ‘merican.
i think it is good to warn people in advance about the circumstances that will cause you to bite them and i think that having given that warning it is good to follow through when the time comes
the rattlesnake is an admirable creature whose virtues we should emulate
me when offered soda: yes. love the bübblés
me when offered water: yes! a fresh and sexy beverage
me when offered sparkling water: Why Are You Trying To Murder Me Under The Guise Of Hospitality
I’m gonna keep saying it: sparkling water is Angry Water and I do not need that kind of negativity in my life
Sparkling water is like sprite except instead of sugar they use hatred and sadness
