if anyone on this website even vaguely implies that this car is shitty i’ll rip the shingles off of the roof of your house. every last one. Look at the chickens they have little bowties and everything
the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.
me the 3rd time I’ve gone up to this guys hotel room to ask him to stop vaping because it’s setting off the fire alarm because the clouds are so thick it’s disrupting the sensors and he answers the door all freaked out and jumpy and I have to go in and look around and make sure there isn’t actually a fire only to find that the curtain rod is broken and the closet shelf is broken and the sheets are tied into ropes and when I asked him about it he admitted to me that he did a lil meth and decided to try autoerotic asphyxiation but nothing was sturdy enough and to please not tell his boss because he was in town for job training and they’re paying for his room:
Alexis 