Alexis

mememic-bry:

officialunitedstates:

wife is pregnant, due any day

suddenly the contractions start

“CAN’T, WON’T, I’M, HAVEN’T, DON’T, ISN’T" she says

“doc, it appears the contractions are worsening,” the nurse says.

in between breaths, the wife gasps and screeches, “Y’ALL’D’VE”

tastefullyoffensive:

(via sami_grayce)

lumsel:

hositrugun:

the-moon-and-all-her-stars:

ryhartley:

feminismandmedia:

Magical.

👌👌

👌
👏

👏

lmaooo

For the record, the guy actually invented this with the intent of it being used to crack down on human trafficking. Traffickers often cover their victims in heavy/unusual makeup before posting pics of them online, to make them harder to detect using normal software.

oh

eternityinalake:

welcome to the 12th inning of a college baseball game

papabay:

an older Zelda that lives among the villagers, no longer drenched in royal finery as she lives a more humble life

depressed–and–underdressed:

adamsmasher:

miseducatedmelanicmuse:

hi I’m a therapist
some people come to me to break down severe childhood trauma
some people come to me because their job is super stressful
some people come to me because they’re worried all the time about stuff that they know they shouldn’t be worried about but they worry anyway
some people come to me because they’re bad at focusing
some people come to me because their mom said they should but they’re enjoying the experience anyway
what i’m saying is there is no wrong time, reason, or explanation to come see a therapist. we’re ready for you.

princealigorna:

shiraae:

teamfreekickass:

mephistos-cafe-lattes:

erikats-eridaves:

pernicious-monarchs:

erikats-eridaves:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know (Source)

NOW I CAN BE A TRUE MERMAID

I actually did a report on this last year! The substance is called perfluorocarbon and because of its unique nature, it can hold enough oxygen inside of it for you to breathe it. You can breathe safely while inside it, but sometimes the transition from breathing in the perfluorocarbon and the air can be painful or uncomfortable as your lungs try to push the liquid out of them. In Dan Brown’s book The Lost Symbol, the process of reverting back to breathing the air can feel like being birthed.

thank you friend

how the fuck do they know what being birthed feels like

FACT:

This liquid is used in modern torture. It is similar to water boarding. A victim is placed in a small completely dark box. The box is then filled with the liquid. The victim thinks they are drowning as they breath the liquid in. Most pass out from fear at this point or they just sit there in the liquid in pitch black, apparently breathing ‘water’. Often it leads to the thought that they are in fact dead. It is completely terrifying. Then the box is opened and they are violently pulled from it. As said before the transition from liquid to air is none too pleasant. You might be told something like, they resuscitated you and to tell them what you know or they will “drown” you again.

You can “drown” someone and be sure that they won’t be harmed

You all needed to know this.

holy shit

That went from cool to horrifying is 0.05 seconds