funny story

ficcyshit:

funnystories:

i failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report card. i did this every quarter that year. i forgot that they mail home the end-of-year cards, and my mom got it before I could intercept with my fake. She was PISSED – at the school for their error. the teacher also retired that year and had already thrown out his records, so they had to take my mother’s “proof” (the fake ones i made throughout the year) and “correct” the “mistake.” i’ve never told her the truth

I love how OP fucked up so hard that their attempts to fix it should have led to the ass-whooping of a lifetime, but, through an entire SERIES of ridiculous circumstances and UNBELIEVEABLE LUCK, it all worked out better than expected.

OP is a fucking protag in a kids’ show, what in the fuck.

suspend:

horreurscopes:

strongsad2:

saladsaladnovski:

governmentshill:

tilthat:

TIL in 2009, Burger King ran the “Whopper Sacrifice” campaign, which offered a free hamburger to anyone who deleted ten friends off Facebook. Facebook suspended the program because Burger King was sending notifications to the castoffs letting them know they’d been dropped for a sandwich.

via reddit.com

Powerful

what the fuck?

amazing

this is so dramatique i bet it was a gay’s idea

bring this back and i will gladly delete 100 friends in a blink of an eye. been waiting for an excuse to delete them anyway