I’m fucking pissing myself.
You know how all of Jupiter’s moons are named after his lovers and affairs?
Yeah. NASA is sending a craft to check up on Jupiter.
You know what the craft is called?
JUNO.
Who’s Juno?
JUPITER’S WIFE.
NASA IS SENDING JUPITER’S WIFE TO CHECK ON JUPITER AND HIS AFFAIRS AND LOVERS.
FUCKING NASA
Protip: Since it’s inception NASA has been comprised of 75% magnificent bastards and 25% tricky dicks
This is a song ground control used to wake the astronauts with. It is the earliest form of Micspam i can think of. It’s also the only song to ever be banned by NASA.
NASA invented Micspam.
IS THAT EVEN A FUCKING SONG!?!?!?!?!?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
During the apollo missions, They were fairly sure they were gonna die, so NASA gave them all corvettes
Which they proceeded to dragrace around the NASA complex, do burnouts and doughnuts and all kinds of tomfoolery
Then there was the time Al Shepard went to the moon, and it simply wasn’t enough.
So he brings a fucking golf club to the moon and plays golf on the moon.
The man had an engineer make him a custom golf club he could hide in his suit, just so he could goof off.
Then there was a time they drew a dick on mars
The boys at NASA sure knew how to have fun on the job.
I love space nerds
I hate the fact that many people think that scientists are dull people with no sense of humor or love for cultural things. I mean look at this. Please stop the prejudices.
so they released a few videos on how pokemon follow behind you in Pokemon Let’s Go and its like:
Venusaur jumping like a frog!! good stuff i can support this
Electrode just slowly rolls behind you, can’t ask for much from this round friend!
…then it cuts to Caterpie and just
IT CANT EVEN KEEP UP. I’M DEAD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THIS WORM
PICK IT UP OR SOMETHING AM I GOING TO HAVE TO SPEND THE WHOLE GAME CONSTANTLY SLOWING DOWN SO I DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE GUILT OF LEAVING MY DEFENSELESS WORM BEHIND ME???
my headcanon for nick fury not calling captain marvel in right away is that they had a bet back in the 90s on how long nick will survive without her help. they bet on 30 years, and nick almost caved when battle of new york happened but that suicidal motherfucker yeeted the nuke into spaceso it was all good, no need for carol yet when he has the avengers, but then the avengers broke apart and nick silently prayed that theyd reunite to kick thanos’ ass but they failed and that is why he said “motherfucker” in disappointment at the end of infinity war, cause only 2 damn years left and he’d win the fuckin bet of the century but the Avengers had to go and Be The Worst At Everything and make him lose the stupid bet God dammit
carol: i TOLD you i was gonna win the bet old man, now hand over the other eye
made the mistake of reading up about Alexander the Great’s relationship with his best friend Hephaestion and learnt that he was kind of a drama queen because
after Hephaestion died, he spent maybe 1.5 billion dollars on his funeral which is a conservative estimate
spent all night weeping over the body until they dragged him away
extinguished a light only reserved to signify the death of the king (i.e. himself, Alexander the Great)
went to the oracle and petitioned to have Hephaestion granted the status of a god but was denied
nine months later, was still planning expensive monuments dedicated to his pal, except then he died, so what can you do
people say the only thing that ever defeated Alexander the Great was Hephaestion’s thighs
History trying to tune down the gay be like “This friendship lasted throughout their lives, and was compared, by others as well asthemselves, to that of Achilles and Patroclus.” without realising that’s the gayest comparison they could make.
Alexis 