hallandoates1970topresent:

slumbermancer:

pastarrie:

slumbermancer:

pastarrie:

superluminalflower:

dirkar:

My parents HATE overwatch because it takes up our entire wifi whenever my brother goes online and when I bought myself the new Zelda my mom was like “can I watch Netflix? or are you playing” and I was like no, no don’t worry it doesn’t take up internet. and she was so relieved and started walking towards the TV in her room and I was like “you want to watch it out here? I can switch to the handheld mode” and she was so impressed that she could watch Master Chef next to me while I played my game. Nintendo is truly the family system.

nintendo paid for this post

blizzard payed for that reply

I paid for my lunch today (one of sandwich, meat ball sub)

did it taste good?

it was very good. thank you for asking 🙂 i hope you have a good lunch tomorrow 

reblog for a good lunch tomorrow

buffskeleton:

honestly the worst thing abt star wars is that i hate going on the beach and if someone asks me why i have to literally say with my mouth ‘i hate sand’ and then i have to try So Hard not to go ‘it’s course and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere’ but he’s Right anakin skywalker is 100% Correct sand is the Worst

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

brendalltherock:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

i absolutely do

mmmmmkay, so lemme preface this with that I live in a small town of 2,000 people in AL

so a couple of weeks ago, the cops went to my great uncle’s house to arrest my cousin (im gonna call her K) for a “felony” (no one knows exactly why, but there is a lot of material the cops could have pulled from). once they got to the house and went up to knock on the door, and found another one of my cousins hiding place where he grew his weed plants. so then that cousin (let’s call him J). So K isnt at my great uncles house, but they caught and arrested J on a distribution and paraphernalia charge. So the cops are still looking for K, and they wind up going to her daughter’s house, to find her youngest (S) hiding her sons father, who is wanted for murder in Birmingham. So now S and her ex are arrested for that, and they picked up S’s older sister while they were there because she was on parole and was caught up with S’s shit. K still hasnt been found. The cops wind up going to my other cousin’s who live across the road from us (who are Js parents and Ks brother and sister in law) to look for K and wind up arresting my great uncle (who was at their house???? instead of his own???) because he pulled a gun on the cops, then arresting Js dad bc he punched the cop who handcuffed my great uncle. and K? she was across the street breaking into my car and stealing mywallet. the only reason we found this out is because when I went to pick my wallet up from the police station I saw all of my family’s names on the “in custody” board and my mom called the on call chief bc apparently she dated him in college and he owed her a favor.

tl;dr: all of my grandmother’s 2nd oldest brother’s family got arrested except for his son’s daughter because she moved out of this hell hole as soon as she graduated highschool

it’s 2:15 am and this is the BEST bedtime story anyone’s ever told me

beetledrink:

beetledrink:

this answer on a “what’s the most embarrassing thing you did as a kid” reddit thread has been haunting me since i read it

gwennovynne:

who else just wants to fuck off and living in animal crossing. my neighbor is a bird. i sold three pieces of fruit and bought a sofa with the profit. caught butterflies for two straight hours. my debt exists but the debtor literally doesn’t give a single flying fuck. i wanna go drink coffee at a cafe where it’s served to me by a Gentle pigeon. everyone is happy like 99% of the time unless you whack em with a net or something idk

foundlingmother:

The fact that Thor asked the pet store owner for a dog big enough to ride makes a lot more sense when you realize his conception of dogs probably includes creatures like this:

Good puppers!